My Proudest Accomplishment

In all my (almost) 23 years of life, this particular day topped the charts.

I've had good days.

I've had bad days.

I've been proud.

I've been ashamed.

I've exceeded.

I've failed.

All of which have molded me into the unique person I am today.

Since 2011, I've hit some major milestones in my little life.

~ opened up and ran a functional brick and mortar storefront and two online websites

~ graduated nursing school from GSU

~ got married

~ expecting our first baby

Saturday, I woke up at daylight to get ready for a test I've prepared for for months on end.

The dreaded NCLEX (nursing licensure exam).

All the schooling and absolute H-E-double hockey sticks that you go through during nursing school and yes, you still have to take a national licensure examination to determine whether or not you can officially "practice" as a registered nurse. I guess it makes some sense, but all the tests and preparation during nursing school should suffice for something! If you don't pass this exam, you get no license. In which, you can't get a RN job. And basically, your entire four year degree = worthless.

In saying all of this.. I failed the NCLEX on my first attempt.

I waited until October 2011 to take it for the first time. From graduating in May, that was almost 6 months of no nursing refreshment. Mind you, my last semester of nursing school was complete in March. From March to May was my preceptorship and once that was complete, we waited for the day we would walk across the stage! My mind was very well occupied on planning a wedding and running my boutique during this time. I had been through two years of hellacious nursing school, and wanted to now focus on planning the wedding of my dreams and then buckle down and think about a future nursing career.

Wrong choice.

After waiting a month to finally get my results back, I got the dreaded call that I had not passed the examination. The NCLEX is comprised of a variety of questions. One can have as little as 75 or as many as 265. There's no rhyme or reason as to how many you will have other than the fact that you have to provide "minimal competency".. which you could gain at 75, 86, 165, or 265 - including anywhere in between. Each individual is different and it can cut off at any particular time. I've known students who passed at 75 and those who passed at 265. I've heard of those that failed at 75 and those that failed at 265 - I was that statistic.

My first attempt resulted in the dreaded 265 question maximum and four hour time frame.

Can you imagine?

I probably lost consciousness around question 125, if not before.

I felt like such a failure.

It was embarassing.

I hated to get asked the question "have you taken your nursing exam yet?" or "have you found a nursing job yet?" or even the funnest of them all "did you pass your NCLEX?!"

Ugh.

Sigh.

Hide my face.

Puke.

Growing up I did well in school. I didn't put forth much effort, but did enough to get by and did surprisingly well. So to fail such a big test was devastating for me as I had always had no struggles with school whatsoever.

It took me 7 more months to gain enough courage and confidence in my ability to sign back up for a re-take.

Balancing a store, two websites, a husband, family, friends, housework, life in general, and trying to study and re-teach myself the basics of nursing (a year later!!) was quite a challenge.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to toot my own horn by any means.

I'm just being real and honest.

I've cried. I've been uptight. I've hollered and became easily angered over teeny tiny things.

 I've not been myself all because of this additional stress not passing this horrid test has brought upon me.

It was intimidating.

Not only did I feel like a complete idiot, but I felt like I had wasted a valuable college career studying something that would be of no worth to me.

I had lost sight of my dream goals of one day becoming a NICU nurse, eventually a nurse practitioner, and maybe one day going back to teach other nursing students. With a nursing job, I would be able to provide for myself and my family, have insurance, benefits, and start a savings and retirement fund.

All of these things were no longer in sight for me.

Yesterday, I signed onto my account to check the status of the exam results from Saturday.

Surprisingly, there on the side of the screen was the "quick results" tab I had hoped for but thought it would be another day or two before it become available.

I immediately clicked on it and entered in my checking account information in order to recieve my results right then and there.

After completing the information requested, my heart was pounding out of my chest and my hands were shaking and sweating.

It felt like a life or death situation.

The next click would either fill me with complete gratitude or break my heart into a million pieces.

When I clicked that little "next" button on the bottom right of the screen,

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I had PASSED this test.

I did it.

I had studied my butt off for the past several, several months and all the hard work and dedication had finally paid off.

Tears began streaming down my face.

My hands were shaking so terribly that I could barely life my phone from the counter.

I knew I wouldn't be able to talk if I attempted to call anyone, so I took a picture of the computer screen and forwarded out a text message to those who were anticipating the results.

It felt SO good.

I cry as I'm typing this because it makes me SO happy.

I can now grasp those goals that I once admired and lived for.

Although there are several different aspects of life that has changed for me since I made those goals years ago, I still hope to achieve them one day.

Now, they seem possible.

I look back and think, above all, God's timing is so perfect.

We couldn't want such great news at a better time.

With expecting a baby in December - the jobs we both currently possess, insurance isn't readily available. We've been stressing about this concept along with the fact that we will have another mouth to feed and provide for. With my income from my boutique a year into business, it isn't a whole lot.

I hope to seek out a part-time or PRN nursing job close to home so that I can obtain some nursing experience and put this degree and hard earned work to good use.

Things are beginning to finally look up and I couldn't feel more at ease with life at this time.

-xoxoxo

...it's a GIRL!

Ok, ok, I give you permission to hate me for making you all wait so long to find out!

I think 100% of the votes were Team CHLOE!

Our guests were almost split down the middle between Team Blue and Team Pink.

Everyone participated and some had left before we were able to snap the photo!

The decor was to die for! So, so, so super cute..

Jess did a FABULOUS job. Over the top all the way!

Since our gender scan appointment and gender reveal party were scheduled just 3 hours apart, Jess had to come up with something clever besides the normal cutting of a cake, biting into baked cupcakes, etc.

My amazing friend, come up with THIS genius idea:

A "C" pinata!

Hand-made all the way.

She filled it with regular (uncooked) peanuts.

When she found out the gender, she painted ONE single peanut and placed it inside & gave it a good shake.

The three Grandmothers were responsible for the actual "reveal" part.

My Mom was blindfolded and given the paddle to take the first swings!

Take 1 = FAIL

Mom swung a little high and knocked the pinata to the floor!

So with some good, tall manly help we got it hung back up and ready for another lick! 

  

 Y'all, if this was not the funniest thing ever! I was laughing so hard, I was crying.

Everytime Mom took a swing, she would throw off the blindfold and scream "WHAT IS IT?!?!?!?" all while scanning the floor frantically looking for the one painted peanut!

 No luck? Jess hid that bad boy pretty good!

It was finally spotted!

Lots of excitement, laughing, and hugging going on!

Then out come the ultrasound images..

Baby Chloe definitely wasn't shy.

She made her Daddy blush  already with her pose above ;)

Baby Chloe is loved by SO many already!

It was an incredible day.

We couldn't thank Jess enough for planning, hosting, and going the extra mile for us!

xoxoxo-

Gender Reveal Sneak Peak

Hello ladies!

I'm working up the post for the Gender Reveal Party from yesterday! It was a HUGE success and SO much fun.

In the meantime, I just had to share a sneak peak of the awesome set-up - thanks to my hometown friend Jess. She planned & organized the ENTIRE thing. From invitations down to the food. We are so incredibly grateful for her and all that she has done for us.

Our family and friends had a ball!

{My conversation with Jess prior to spilling her the news! - She was the first to know since she was hosting the reveal 3 short hours later! Eeeeeek! Excitement!!}

What's YOUR vote?!

Tell me what you think it is:

Team Chloe

or

 Team Clayton?

 Ready-Set-Go!

currently

I ran across this fun link-up last week through Jamie at This Kind of Love. Although I'm not a very 'active' blogger and don't keep up with all the link-up's and such, I still thought this was a fun idea and looked forward to participating this week. Looks like Jennifer, the blog link-up host, is out for vacay and won't be doing it this week unfortunately. But since I worked diligently on it, I'm going to post it anyhow..

current book(s)

{NCLEX study questions - yes, I have still yet to take my NCLEX exam and become an official RN. I'm ashamed. But good news, I should have a date set to take it within the next week!}

{Mom bought this for me as an early Mother's Day gift. It has ALL the answers.}

current playlist

Pandora

Reba McEntire, Avalon, Casting Crowns, or Third Day stations

current color

Coral & Aqua

current food

fried chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk

current favorite show(s)

{this is a must watch every Monday night. yet, this season is becoming very boring to us!}

current needs

maternity clothing.

current banes of my existence

studying for the NCLEX.

current celebrity crush

{Blake and Miranda - LOVE them}

current #1 blessing

{our baby!}

current indulgence

Hunt's Brothers Pepperoni Pizza

current outfit
{that i am in need of}

cute, maxi dresses from Target and Old Navy!

current excitement

 getting my hair done this afternoon! it's been since february. yes, you read that right.
i'm adding some blonde. getting tired of being a total brunette, i need a summer color!

current mood
happy! we got to hear our baby's heartbeat yesterday. now looking forward to planning our gender reveal partay with Jess. invites have been ordered and being sent out very soon. that's something to be happy about!

current favorite quote or verse

{via Pinterest}

current wishlist item

the wand.
have you seen these things? they're incredible.
my friend's hair looks amazing after using this bad boy.

it looks like a curling iron, yet it has no clip.
instead you use this to wrap the hair around the "wand"

go here to watch a video tutorial via youtube

current favorite product(s)

Mary Kay Extra Emollient Night Cream

LOVE this stuff. I've been working on the same teeny container for 3, probably 4 years now. I use it every night before I go to bed on my lips. It keeps them moisturized for the entire next day. No chap stick can compare!

Hope you all have had a terrific THURSDAY!

Cheers to Friday & the weekend ahead- xoxo

Weeks 1-13

Well HELLO everyone! Long time, no talk eh?

The last 12 months have been a whirlwind. Several gigantic trials, tribulations, and blessings have arised along the way. One day, when I feel the urge to spill out my heart.. I hope to share my story. Until then, I will start with the most recent of these occurrences because it's the one with the biggest blessing involved.

Three months ago, I was completely stressed out to the max. After several days of worrying and wondering, I opted to upgrade from the cheaper versions and buy one of these..

Are you shocked?

Yes, we were. I think we still are actually.

 I'm 14 weeks as of Monday.

Time is flying right on by.

I want to give an update from weeks 1-13 combined in a single post to keep track & record all of the tiny details of this new adventure in our lives.

*Beware: some of the information is not what I would call "pleasant". But, it's still the truth.. and I want to look back one day and laugh about it all.

Shall we begin?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First day of last menstrual cycle: February 27th, 2012

Approximate conception date: March 12, 2012

First positive pregnancy test: Friday March 30, 2012

How many pregnancy tests taken: 4 (week of missed period, all negative) - 4 positive from Friday-Sunday.

How far along: roughly 4 weeks

Told Cliff: March 30, 2012

Told parents: March 31, 2012

Scheduled 1st prenatal appointment: April 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm

symptoms: no appetite, sore breasts, nausea before meals

1st Appointment Recap:

Weight: ~128-130  - I can't remember exactly.

When we arrived at the appointment, we were immediately called back in no time.

The ultrasound technician met us halfway and said that we would be doing the ultrasound prior to the visit with the Doc.

-My heart sank-

I was SO nervous.

This was us waiting to be called back.

Going in to the exam, we had no idea how far along we were. When I called to schedule the appointment, the nurse asked when the first day of my last menstrual cycle was. Because I always keep track of it in my phone, I was able to recall the exact date right away. She scheduled our appointment for what we thought would be approximately 6 weeks along. She said we should be able to see the gestational sac, the yolk sac, and a baby by this time.

Meanwhile, I get undressed and plop up on the exam table wrapped in a sheet from the bottom down while Cliff sat to my left in a chair. Poor thing, he didn't have a clue what to expect. I should've filled him in a little more on what to look for on the screen above.

The nurse does her thing and  within seconds, I saw the little sac I was so immensly hoping to see pop up on the screen. I breathed a sigh of relief. However, I didn't see anything inside of it.

-My heart sank again-

I knew exactly what I was looking for. Not only did I research what an ultrasound would look like at 6 weeks, but I do have a little bit of nursing background and could tell that something wasn't right.

The nurse looked at me and asked "are you sure your last cycle date was February 27th?"

'Yes ma'am', I said.

'Well, here you're only measuring at 4 weeks 5 days. Your date must be off a little. I can see the gestational sac and the yolk sac, which is good.. but it's still too small for it to be around 6 weeks like we thought.'

'I'm pretty confident on the date. Around 99% positive actually. '

"Ok, we will check back at the next appointment to see it's progess", she said.

After visiting with the Doc, he made it clear that all looked well. He didn't seemed too concerned with the fact that the baby was measuring a week and a half behind the calculated date. He said it could be one of two things: 1) ovulated & implated later or 2) date of last menstrual cycle was wrong.

I knew the date wasn't wrong, so I hoped and prayed that I must've ovulated later than expected since my cycles hadn't been regular for about 8 months anyhow.

My fear was that the baby was not progressing like it should be.

I worried.

I probably worried myself sick for the next few weeks actually... 

Cliff was SO funny about it all. Like I said above, I really should've filled him in a little more-so than what I did.

Our nurse wasn't the best she could be. She actually didn't mutter much more than asking about the menstrual date and telling us it was measuring later than expected. She didn't describe anything nor did she tell us what we were looking at really.. More or less, she sucked. Seriously.

After the ultrasound, Cliff looked at me and said

"okkk.. so what does that mean? Are you pregnant or not?

Almost rolling off of the exam table laughing so hard, I said "yes, silly! You didn't see that black circle thing on the screen?! That's the baby's sac. You know, where it starts growing!"

His response, "yea, I guess. But, there's no baby. Soo.. you're not really pregnant yet."

Yall, it was the funniest thing. He just couldn't grasp the idea of it yet.

I think he really wanted to, but it just wasn't sinking in at the time.

I laughed uncontrollably.

Due Date: Doc didn't give us one yet, but it should be around December 14th according to these measurements.

Belly Pic:

5 weeks:

Experiencing any symptoms?: fatigue, nausea (very little), tender breasts - looks like I've gotten a serious boob job, for real. I can feel them becoming heavier & fuller. Facial acne has actually began to clear up slightly and looks better now than it has in two years.

Any scary episodes?: brown discharge (April 2)

How do you feel?: anxious, nervous, scared, fear of miscarriage

I purchased my first baby item. Well, I guess you could call it that anyhow.. it is "baby" related.

This book is awesome! I highly recommend it to any of your pregnany ladies who want to document and keep track of everything going on.

It has questions to answer, pages to put a copy of your ultrasound images, journal space to write, etc.

I bought my copy off of amazon.com for less than $10.

6 weeks:

Symptoms are pretty much the same as last week. Lots of bloating, belching, and more.

I got a sweet gift from a friend!

From Jess over at Stilettos & A Fishing Pole to be exact!

How cute is the tag & bag? She's awesome.

TOO funny.

The book is paperback, and unknowingly, after she writes the message on the inside front cover does she realize it totally bled through. Hilarious!

Again, another recommendation. This book is full of belly laughs, just as it says! Jenny McCarthy is a nut to begin with & this book tells all.

7 weeks:

Experiencing any symptoms?: hunger, hunger, hunger. I can't seem to get enough food. My stomach literally growls minutes after I feed it. I've always loved food, but I'm realizing that my hunger is becoming unaffordable! I want to eat constantly. Any and everything in sight.

..And gas. Serious gas. Bloating, belching, and more. You can use your imagination.

I don't know if it's certain foods I am eating or if it's literally having to do with the fact some of these hormones are slowing down my digestive tract causing decreased motility in the bowel & more toxins to be released into my body causing.. you guessed it.. more GAS. It's horrid.

Any scary episodes?: More spotting -

Started on April 17th: light pink in color, very scarce amount, only when wiping.

Continued to the 18th and turned dark brown in color. Little heavier than the previous day. But still not enough to notice on my panties. Around 7 p.m. that night, I had just finished eating supper and drew my legs up to my chest while sitting on a stool. I immediately felt a gush down below and knew something wasn't quite right. I ran to the bathroom and wiped.. pinky-red tinged blood. Scared me half to death. I slept uneasy that night tossing and turning, worrying myself slap crazy.

The next morning I called the doctor and spoke with the nurse first thing. She said there was nothing I could do about it, just to take it easy and continue to monitor it. Unknowingly, 1 in 4 women actually experience some type of bleeding/spotting during their pregnancy. She said I could lay flat on my back for the next week and still not prevent a miscarriage from happening. If it was going to happen, it was just going to happen. She requested that if the cramping and bleeding continued and seemed to get brighter red and the pain more intense to where I was hunched over it hurt so bad, then I needed to rush to the ER. Other than that, relax and take a deep breath. So that's what I did.

The spotting seemed to disappear on the 19th after I spoke with her. I wiped one time that afternoon and noticed a light brown color, but it wasn't nothing compared to what I had experience the evening before. From that day on, it never happened again. (Thank you, Lord!)

How do you feel?: exhausted. I rush home every afternoon in hopes of crashing on the couch and taking a quick nap.

8 weeks:

Nothing new this week as far as symptoms and such.

How do you feel?: Sense of relief. When you reach 8 weeks, have a good ultrasound and hear the baby's healthy heartbeat - your risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. I can breathe a little easier now. Plus, seeing that little flutter on the screen and hearing that fast paced heartbeat was the most amazing feeling!

2nd Prenatal Appointment Recap:

May 7th

B/P: 112/60

Weight: 134

Questions I asked:

1) Is there a cheaper, generic version of the prenatal vitamins you prescribed at the 1st visit?

They were $30/bottle for a months supply.. I need to save as much as possible and that wasn't cutting it.

Answer: YES!

2) I have a friend getting married soon and this upcoming weekend is her bachelorette party in downtown ATL.. what do you think about secondhand smoke, etc. in a bar setting?

Answer: It'll be fine. Just a night or two isn't going to hurt.

3) Can I sleep on my stomach?

Answer: Sure. As long as you are comfortable. Before long, you won't be able.

We saw a BABY!!!!!!

Talk about a GREAT feeling? Words cannot begin to describe!

As soon as she got it up on the screen, I felt weights off my shoulders being released.

*Holy sigh*

I smiled & looked to Cliff and said "Do you see that?!!?! It's a BABY!! Now, do you think we're pregnant?"

He laughed and said, "Yea! I see it!!"

Again, we had the same ultrasound nurse who didn't give a rats behind about explaining anything at all to us. She sucks. She really does.

I'm just so giddy at the time, I can't get up the nerve to say something to her or slow her down.

I was able to catch a quick glimpse of the baby's heart fluttering and tried to explain to Cliff what it was and make sure he got to see it! Amazing!

She turned up the volume and we were able to hear the heart beating for the first time as well!

Well.. for all of about 5 seconds before her fingers went to typing away and changing the screen again.

This time around, we measured a week and a few days SOONER than we expected. Due to the last visit measuring 4 weeks 5 days, this visit should measure around 8 weeks.

We actually measured 10 weeks!

Super confusing, I know.

Somehow baby reved up his/her engine and sprouted!

It could've been the fact that I was fertilizing him/her reallllyy well with lots of food..constantly!

New Due Date: December 3, 2012

9 weeks:

What's up with my bod? I've gained 4-5 pounds (per my at home scale) since the 1st ultrasound. My pants are getting snug around the waistline. Boobs are steadily growing and are becoming increasingly tender. I feel like I need a loooong nap around 3 o'clock every afternoon. Still no nausea or sickness, thankfully.

What's up with my diet? I'ts never fulfilling enough. I'm starving all the time. Constant hunger. I literally get hungry every 2-3 hours and want to eat any and everything I can get my hands on. I haven't started "craving" anything in particular, I just want to EAT.

10 weeks:

Not much has changed. This weekend was Mother's Day!

I got several texts from a few close relatives and friends saying Happy 1st Mother's Day!

AND, I even got a gift from my Aunt.. included was:

and a pink rubber ducky! She swears it's a GIRL!

11 weeks:

Experiencing any symptoms?: Facial acne has returned and is horrible. I'm almost too embarassed to walk out of the house. My face and back are the only places of concern for now. It's crazy. I've never been one to experience acne and can not figure out for the life of me what is causing it to occur. And now with a pregnancy involved, it's becoming worse.

How do you feel?: I've taken fewer naps this week than normally, but I

Bachelorette Weekend:

12 weeks:

What's up with my head? It looks awful. Seriously. Hair. Face. All of it. My poor hair hasn't seen a straightener in weeks it seems. I just don't have the energy or patience to sit and fix it every morning. The facial acne is something terrible still. But, I think I've found the entire problem.

Silly me.. I figure since Cliff uses a bar of soap on his entire body... including face.. that I could too. Soo.. for months on end now, I have been scrubbing my face with a rag and bar of soap while showering every night. Stupid, right? Yea.. so I've heard. I'm changing it up and totally putting the bar of soap method to a hault for.. forever! Let's see!

What's up with my bod? I'm feeling good this week. Still no terrible morning sickness. Just a few nausea episodes when it gets time to eat and I don't eat right away. My tummy is starting to develop the baby bump. Definitely becoming noticeable in tight tees!

What's up with my wardrobe? I need a new one! None.. ok, two.. two pairs of shorts fit and almost all of my jeans have become too tight for comfort. Here's to exercise attire!

13 weeks:

3rd Prenatal Appointment Recap:

No transvag ultrasound this go 'round. Instead, we did a quick doppler to check the heartbeat from the outside of the belly & had a short visit with the Doc to check the status of everything.

B/P: 112/60

Weight: 138

I've got an audio clip we recorded of the heartbeat. As soon as I can figure out how to convert it to a video file format, I will update it for all to hear!

Doc asked about symptoms, problems, etc. None of which I had anything to complain about.

He said all looked well, and we are now transitioning into the

2nd trimester!

yippee!

We go back in another 3 weeks for a doppler and check-up - June 20th

Then, the next visit after that will be the gender reveal! - July 18th

*We have BIG party being planned for that!*

Follow along with Mrs. Drew over at Stilettos and A Fishing Pole - She's our party planner & will be posting updates about it soon!